All Sex Outside of Marriage Is Sin
If you are a Christian, you will consult God’s Word for the answer to the question, “What is Sexual Sin?” Believe it or not many Christians don’t know, and some seemingly don’t want to know what sexual sin is because it might interfere with their sexual behaviors, self-pleasure, and carnal desires. I’ve heard, and vehemently I might add:
that it’s ok to have sex if you’re in a committed relationship,
that it’s ok to live with your fiancé before marriage,
and one that was made popular on TV’s Bachelorette, it’s ok to have sex before marriage because God will forgive you. (I will address God’s forgiveness at the end of this blog.)
You might expect these kinds of remarks from a hedonist secular society, one that has rejected God, but really, from people who claim to be Christ-followers. The definition of hedonism can be twofold:
one, seeking of pleasure through devotion, especially a self-indulgent one, to pleasure and happiness as a way of life, and
two, a philosophy of pleasure through a doctrine that holds that pleasure is the highest good or the source of moral values.
The synonyms for hedonism are terrifying if you care about the future of the human race: debauchery (decadence, depravity, wickedness, immorality, degenerate, licentious, shameless, corruption, wanton), pleasure-seeking, intemperance (excess, overindulgence, gluttony, greed), self-indulgence, profligacy (extravagance, wasteful, reckless), self-satisfaction, self-gratification, and in our context anything or way that satisfies our sexual carnality, fantasies or imaginations.
Therefore, the task at hand is to determine what you believe, God’s Word or a secular hedonistic worldview. Don’t be too hasty to answer! My wife always says to believe behaviors, not words! First, let’s look at what the Bible says about sexual sin. Simply put sex inside the marriage covenant is a beautiful gift from God; while sex outside of a marriage covenant is sin, sexual sin. The problem with sin is that it leads to physical and spiritual death.
The Greeks Had a Word - Porneia
Strong’s Concordance (a Bible dictionary) uses the Greek word “Porneia” for sexual sin or sinful expressions of sexuality. Porneia is defined as any and all kinds of sexual behavior outside the context of marriage and is commonly translated as fornication and/or sexual immorality. Scriptures are absolutely clear in their prohibition of porneia.
It is called evil, improper, sinful, fleshly, earthly, and against the will of God. Those who continually and unrepentantly practice it are declared guilty and unrighteous and will be subject to judgment by God. Given the clear condemnation of the Scriptures, we would do well to ask what exactly constitutes sexual sin.
“Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God” (1 Corinthians 6:9–11).
Figuratively, porneia can stand for idolatry, the forsaking of the one true God to worship idols (they worship the created rather than the Creator).
“For they exchanged the truth of God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever” (Romans 1:25).
Idolatry (worshiping anything, including sex, before worshiping God)
“Put to death therefore what is earthly (carnal, fleshly) in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry” (Col 3:5).
“But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the detestable, as for murderers, the sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their portion will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death” (Revelation 21:8).
“But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints. Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving. For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God” (Ephesians 5:3-5).
Metaphorically, porneia is considered apostasy (renunciation, denial, abandonment, rejection) from God through idolatry. Since God is said to be married to His Church “in Christ”, then any idolatry is unfaithfulness toward God and is equivalent to sexual unfaithfulness to one’s marriage partner.
"Wives, subject yourselves to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. So husbands also ought to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, because we are parts of His body.
For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church. Nevertheless, as for you individually, each husband is to love his own wife the same as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.(Ephesians 5:22-33).
God’s wrath at the end of the ages makes it very clear that the world, nations, and kings (personalities) are used to support and promote sexual immorality that corrupts the whole earth. It seems we are either married and worship God or the secularism, culture, and popular beliefs of the world in which we live. There are consequences!
Jesus is talking to the church saying
“But I have this against you, that you tolerate that woman Jezebel, who calls herself a prophetess and is teaching and seducing my servants to practice sexual immorality and to eat food sacrificed to idols. I gave her time to repent, but she refuses to repent of her sexual immorality. Behold, I will throw her onto a sickbed, and those who commit adultery with her I will throw into great tribulation (God’s end-time wrath) unless they repent of her works, and I will strike her children dead. And all the churches will know that I am he who searches mind and heart, and I will give to each of you according to your works” (Revelation 2:20-23).
“Because His (God’s) judgments are true and righteous; for He has judged the great harlot (sexually immoral church) who was corrupting the earth with her immorality, and He has avenged the blood of His bond-servants on her” (Revelation 19:2).
“For all the nations have drunk of the wine of the passion of her immorality, and the kings of the earth have committed acts of immorality with her, and the merchants of the earth have become rich by the wealth of her sensuality” (Revelation 18:3).
What Does God Say?
What does God say to us as individuals with free will? The following are Biblical definitions of sexual sin which I believe fall into two categories, sexual behaviors, and sexual attitudes. There is a fine line between the two, but sexual attitudes reveal what’s truly in the heart beneath the actions.
Sinful Sexual Behaviors
1. Carnal Flesh (deeds of the flesh, including sexual immorality which is opposed to spirit life)
“Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions, envying, drunkenness, carousing, and things like these, of which I forewarn you, just as I have forewarned you, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God” (Galatians 5:19-22).
THERE IS ALWAYS OBJECTIFICATION
2. Fornication (any sex outside of the marriage covenant)
“Flee from sexual fornication. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body” 1 (Corinthians 6:18).
3. Adultery (extramarital sex)
“Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral” (Hebrews 13:4).
4. Homosexuality (same-gender sex, sodomy)
“Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.” (1 Corinthians 6:9-11).
5. Premarital Sex (sex before marriage)
“But if they can’t control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It’s better to marry than to burn with lust” (1 Corinthians 7:9).
“But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband” (1 Corinthians 7:2).
Oh, by the way,
“if your sleeping with your girlfriend it is not called dating, it’s called fornication and is a sexual sin.”
6. Bestiality (sex with animals)
“Cursed is anyone who has sexual intercourse with an animal.” (Deuteronomy 27:21).
“And you shall not lie with any animal and so make yourself unclean with it, neither shall any woman give herself to an animal to lie with it: it is perversion” (Leviticus 18:23).
7. Lesbianism (women having sex with women)
“For this reason, God gave them over to degrading passions; for their women exchanged the natural function for the unnatural (women with women)” (Rom 1:26).
8. Lust (objectifying someone by having sex in your mind or thoughts)
“Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, with a continual lust for more”(Ephesians 4:19).
9. Pornography (sexually explicit materials-movies-magazines-internet-peep shows, clubs featuring nudity-lap dances-pole dancing, intended to cause sexual arousal, lusting and/or masturbating)
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:27).
“For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life is not from the Father but is from the world” (1 John 2:16).
10. Incest (sexual intercourse with close relatives)
“It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that is not tolerated even among pagans, for a man has his father’s wife. And you are arrogant! Ought you not rather to mourn? Let him who has done this be removed from among you” (1 Corinthians 5:1-13) & (Leviticus 18:6–18).
11. Orgy (a gathering where people indulge in unrestrained sexual activity, more than one sex partner)
“Since therefore Christ suffered in the flesh, arm yourselves with the same way of thinking, for whoever has suffered in the flesh has ceased from sin, so as to live for the rest of the time in the flesh no longer for human passions but for the will of God. For the time that is past suffices for doing what the Gentiles want to do, living in sensuality, passions, drunkenness, orgies, drinking parties, and lawless idolatry” (1 Peter 4:1–3).
12. Prostitution (sex for pay)
“The body, however, is not meant for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. By his power, God raised the Lord from the dead, and he will raise us also. Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, ‘The two will become one flesh.’ But whoever is united with the Lord is one with him in spirit. Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore, honor God with your bodies” (1 Corinthians 6:13-20).
13. Sex trafficking (underage girls for financial gain, pedophilia – having sex with children)
Harm a child, better never to be born!
“Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him. Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am being tempted by God,” for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempts no one. But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin, when it is fully grown, brings forth death” (James 1:12-15).
14. Sexual Abuse, Rape (sexual violence, no means no, date-rape, if a woman is drunk and you have sex with her the law says it’s rape)
“If a man comes upon a virgin in town, a girl who is engaged to another man, and sleeps with her, … he raped her, violating the fiancée of his neighbor. You must purge the evil from among you, … the man is to die, the man who raped her” (Deuteronomy 22:23-27).
15. Withholding sex in marriage (self-protection, avoidance, apathy, sexual anorexia)
“Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control” (1 Corinthians 7:5).
16. Anything that contradicts God’s creation of male and female (cross-dressing, sex-changes, gender issues).
“A woman shall not wear a man’s garment, nor shall a man put on a woman’s cloak, for whoever does these things is an abomination to the Lord your God” (Deuteronomy 22:5).
“God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. God blessed them; and God said to them, Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it … God saw all that He had made, and behold, it was very good” (Genesis 1:28, 31).
Sinful Sexual Attitudes
“For As He Thinks in His Heart, So Is He” (Proverbs 23:7).
1. Sexual immorality (fornication, any sex outside of marriage)
“For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false witness, slander” (Matthew 15:19).
And he said, “What comes out of a person is what defiles him. For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person” (Mark 7:20-23).
2. Debauchery (performing sexual acts of depravity, immorality, and shameless self-indulgence)
“I am afraid that when I come again my God will humble me before you, and I will be grieved over many who have sinned earlier and have not repented of the impurity, sexual sin and debauchery in which they have indulged” (2 Corinthians 12:21).
3. Lewdness (attitude of sexual filthiness, vulgarity, profanity)
“adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly. All these evils come from inside and defile a person” (Mark 7:22-23).
4. Covetousness (greediness, a strong desire to possess something that belongs to somebody else)
“But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints” (Ephesians 5:3).
5. Sensuality (enjoying the sexual pleasures of the carnal or fleshly senses)
“Let us walk properly as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and sensuality, not in quarreling and jealousy” (Romans 13:13).
7. Lustful passions (intense or overpowering emotions and sexual cravings — addictions)
“God’s will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin. Then each of you will control his own body and live in holiness and honor – not in lustful passion like the pagans (Godless worldviews) who do not know God and his ways. Never harm or cheat a Christian brother in this matter by violating his wife, for the Lord avenges all such sins, as we have solemnly warned you before. God has called us to live holy lives, not impure lives” (1 Thessalonians 4:3–7).
“Beloved, I urge you as sojourners and exiles to abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against your soul” 1 Peter 2:11).
8. Impurity (sex that is adulterated, polluted, contaminated, unclean)
“Now this I say and testify in the Lord, that you must no longer walk as the Gentiles (a secular world apart from God) do, in the futility of their minds. They are darkened in their understanding, alienated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them, due to their hardness of heart. They have become callous and have given themselves up to sensuality, greedy to practice every kind of impurity” (Ephesians 4:17).
Our society not only condones sexual sin and hedonism but enthusiastically promotes it with priority status.
“… although they know the ordinance of God, that those who practice such things (sexual sin) are worthy of death, they not only do the same but also give hearty approval to those who practice them” (Romans 1:32).
Love and Forgiveness
Forgiveness of Sins
Let’s be very clear, God is all about love, forgiveness, and redemption. Jesus came to save mankind from their sin and the death it produces, not judge. But make no mistake, Jesus is coming back very soon, this time He will administer God’s wrath on an unbelieving world who has rejected Him.
As you have seen, God’s Holy Word for a Christian, states clear doctrinal teaching in both the Old and New Testaments regarding sexual sin. You may think that it does not, and you have a right to your opinion or beliefs, but DO NOT say that the Bible teaches its ok to have sex outside of marriage. If you’re a hedonist I get it, but if you are a Christian there is no excuse.
“For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men who suppress the truth in unrighteousness, because that which is known about God is evident within them; for God made it evident to them. For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes, His eternal power, and divine nature, have been clearly seen, being understood through what has been made, so that they are without excuse” (Romans 1:18-20).
There is One Unforgivable Sin!
There is no sexual sin that is worse than any other sexual sin. Fornication is not worse than adultery, homosexuality, pornography, or idolatry. Sexual sin doesn’t send a person to hell or separate a born-again Christian from God’s love. There is only one unforgivable sin, blaspheming the Holy Spirit which is rejecting Jesus Christ thus denying God’s plan of redemption.
Jesus says, “He who is not with Me is against Me, and he who does not gather with Me scatters. Therefore I say to you, any sin and blasphemy shall be forgiven people, but blasphemy against the Spirit shall not be forgiven. Whoever speaks a word against the Son of Man, it shall be forgiven him; but whoever speaks against the Holy Spirit, it shall not be forgiven him, either in this age or in the age to come” (Matthew 12:30-32).
The reason that blaspheming God the Holy Spirit cannot be forgiven is that He reveals, convicts, and convinces humanity that Jesus is who He says He is, Savior and God. It is His job to open our heart to Salvation God’s way. Therefore, if you renounce the Holy Spirit you reject Jesus Christ. This a big deal because eternity is a stake.
Hope in Jesus Christ
The fact that sexual immorality is sinful should not lead to despair, but rather hope. The God who envisioned and created sex is for sex, of course, within the parameters of marriage. The God who calls you to flee from sexual immorality has given you legs to run and a heart to believe in Jesus.
Jesus invites you to, “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light” (Matthew 11:28-30).
The question or debate should not be what is a sexual sin but what does a person do with their sexual sin? God requires acknowledging your sin; repenting of your sin or turning away from it; and believing and accepting Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior.
Can You See the Danger?
If you don’t believe what God says about sexual sin then you can’t repent and be forgiven. No sin, no need for a Savior! You will continue walking in sin out of ignorance, the enemy’s deception, false teachings, or just plain rebellion.
When you accept Jesus you are to walk according to God’s Word and Holy Spirit living in and through you. You are saved by God’s grace through your faith (Ephesians 2:8). Grace is not I can do what I want and God still loves me. That would be a license to sin!
Grace is God’s free gift of love, mercy, and favor to those who believe. There is nothing you can do to earn it or deserve it. If you claim to be a Christian and disregard God’s Holy Word then you might re-consider your commitment as a Christ-follower.
“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need” (Hebrews 4:15-16).
Why Jesus?
The Way, The Truth, The Life
Why is Jesus Christ the only way to be saved? What exactly does it mean to be saved? What are we saved from? Why can’t other religious leaders like Confucius, Mohammed, Buddha, Krishna, Allah, etc. save us? Isn’t it shallow thinking or dogmatic to say Jesus is the only way to God? Some will say this is a narrow approach and that all roads lead to God. Is that true? Are there many truths leading to the salvation of humanity? These are good questions and need to be answered.
The answer is very simple. Jesus is the only way (path, road, access) to God the Father because Jesus is God the Son. Jesus is God! Jesus said,
“I Am (I Am is the name of God He gave to Moses at the burning bush) the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father, but through Me” (John 14:6).
All others were mere men. Were they religious men, probably; wise men, possibly; men sent from God in heaven, no, and certainly not God.
Only Jesus is God. He was not just a good man. He was not just a prophet. He was not just a great teacher or rabbi. He was God before He came to earth. He was fully God and fully man while He walked on this earth. He is God right now in heaven.
“I Am the Alpha and the Omega,’ says the Lord God, ‘who is and who was and who is to come, the Almighty.’… And He laid His right hand upon me saying, ‘Do not be afraid; I Am the first and the last, and the living One; and I was dead and, behold, I Am alive forevermore, and I have the keys of death and of Hades (Hell)” (Revelation 1:8,17,18).
Is He a Lunatic?
This is why C.S. Lewis wrote the following, in his book Mere Christianity,
“A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher. He would either be a lunatic, on a level with the man who says he is a poached egg, or else he would be the Devil of hell."
Is He God?
You must make your choice. Either this man was, and is, the Son of God: or else a madman or something worse.
You can shut him up for a fool (as the Romans did), or you can spit at Him and kill Him as a demon (as the Jews did), or you can fall at His feet and call Him Lord and God (as all Christians do).
However, let us not come up with any patronizing nonsense about His being a great moral teacher. He has not left that open to us. He did not intend to.”
Jesus is God!
What’s Next?
God Love’s You
“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life” (John 3:16).
You Are a Sinner
“For all have sinned and fall short of the Glory of God” (Romans 3:23).
You Are Separated from God Spiritually Dead
“And you were dead in your trespasses and sins (spiritual death), in which you formerly walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, of the spirit that is now working in the sons of disobedience” (Ephesians 2:1,2).
Jesus Christ Died for You
“But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners (un-forgiven and spiritually dead), Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8).
Confess with Your Mouth and Believe in Your Heart
“For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord, that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus (forgiveness of all sins at the cross) and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead (spiritual life from the resurrection), you will be saved” (Romans 10:9).
WILL YOU RECEIVE GOD’S FREE GIFT of FORGIVENESS and ETERNAL LIFE?
Prayer of Salvation
Dear Heavenly Father, I now see that I am a sinner, that I cannot save myself, and that I need a Savior. I repent of believing that I could be saved in any way other than Jesus (works, religion, anything). I am also spiritually dead separated from God under His wrath. I believe that Jesus Christ of Nazareth was God in heaven. He came to earth to identify with His creation as “Emmanuel,” God with us. Jesus was born of a virgin making Him fully human. He was conceived by God the Holy Spirit, making Him fully God. Jesus lived a perfect life, tempted in every way, yet without sin. He died on the cross as a substitute for my sins, giving me complete and total forgiveness (past, present, future). He rose from the grave, defeating death and giving me eternal life. Jesus now sits at the right hand of the Father interceding for all who believe by faith in Him. And He will come again to judge the world of unbelief. I believe by faith that Jesus is my only savior and my only way to God the Father and heaven. Thank you, Jesus. In Jesus’ glorious and saving name, I pray amen.
Prayer of Thanks
Dear Heavenly Father, I thank you for your “great love” and that you are “rich in mercy” (Eph 2:4), to me and all who love you. “Because of Your great love (loving-kindness, mercies) I am not consumed, for Your compassion will never fail. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness” Lord unto me (Lam 3:22, 23). Father God, it is of great comfort to me that Your plans for me are “plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me hope and a future” (Jer 29:11), that when I am faithless You remain faithful (2 Tim 2:11), and that nothing can separate me from Your love (Rom. 8:39). I ask right now Father that “Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven” (Matt 6:10) in my new life. That you would open my eyes and that I might see the Salvation of the Lord in my daily walk. Thank You, Father, for saving me from my sins and giving me eternal life in Christ Jesus my Lord and Savior. I pray in Jesus’ loving and saving name. Amen.
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We All Have the Same Dilemma, We're Dead in Sin
Every human being, ethnic group, race, or gender finds themselves in this same dilemma. Therefore, there are three questions you would be wise to ask yourself and extremely prudent to answer.
One, why do I need to be saved?
Two, what does it mean for me to be saved?
Three, how am I saved?
I believe Only Jesus plus nothing not only saves you but answers these three questions.
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